Ruby Reviews: Church of Euthanasia
Perhaps it's time for a change of profession when after a particularly eventful nightshift, I come home and think, "Oooh let's google 'suicide.'"Regardless, stumbling across this website was both informative and disturbing, and we all know how I love to be simultaneously informed and disturbed.
Here's some highlights from my favourite part of the Church of Euthanasia website:
Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption by Bob Arson
"A certain amount of fat is desirable as "marbling" to add a juicy, flavorful quality to the meat. We personally prefer firm Caucasian females in their early twenties. These are "ripe". But tastes vary, and it is a very large herd."
"The merits of keeping the skull as a trophy are debatable...The brain is not good to eat. Removing the tongue and eyes, skinning the head, and placing it outside in a wire cage may be effective. The cage allows small scavengers such as ants and maggots to cleanse the flesh from the bones, while preventing it being carried off by larger scavengers, such as dogs and children."
"You need not bother skinning the hands and feet, these portions not being worth the effort unless you plan to pickle them or use them in soup."
"Depending upon the development of the breast, you may decide it qualifies as a "brisket" and remove it before cutting the ribs. In the female the breast is composed largely of glands and fatty tissue, and despite its appetizing appearance is rather inedible. "
"Offal and other waste trimmings can be disposed of in a number of ways, burial, animal feed, and puree and flush being just a few. Bones will dry and become brittle after being baked an oven, and can be pulverized."
Don't say this blog isn't educational.
Oh, and if you are ever stranded and starving on an island with a ripe female, blood barrels, a butcher's block, a hatchet, a hacksaw, and a meathook, then you'll have me to thank for your survival!
posted by Ruby @ 7:46:00 AM
9 Comments:
I love you!
Brings new meaning to "Eating her out"
Bahahaha! The things we can learn from teh interwerb!
Ruby, that is truly disturbing. But at least I know I should always invite my slightly chubbier friends along on holidays with me, should I need to eat them. The skinny ones would be too tough and stringy, apparently.
Modern humans are toxic, our food and bad habits make us very bad to eat.
You need to go out and find some nice clean-living vegan kids.
Free range organic is always the best!
No mention of the 'oysters' cut on the back. Truely disturbing.
Truly even...
:)
Hannibal: I love you too.
Hambo: indeed Hambo, indeed it does.
Puss: yup, it's time to ditch all our skinny friends.
Frankie: true...I'd be very toxic given all the crap I've been inhaling/ingesting lately.
Engels: but disturbing is fun!
Anonymous: :) to you too.
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