Badness
Because I'm still too hungover to form a coherent post, let me present you with a list:3 REASONS WHY RUBY SHOULD NEVER DRINK AGAIN. EVER.
1. Whilst singing the praises of the silicone-nude bra, I declared that it had the power to 'give even a man an attractive cleavage.' Not satisfied that my message was adequately understood, I peeled off my bra and stuck it on a male friend of mine. The next ten minutes were spent parading him - and his new cleavage - around a room full of 100 people.
2. I cried hysterically for NO APPARENT REASON. And it was not a subtle sobby-girl-cry, it was the full blown lip-quivering-shoulder-shaking-hyperventilating-snotty-nosed howl.
3. Once home, I fell out of bed and wedged myself between the bed and the wall. The worst part however, was that I'd grabbed a pot plant on the way down, and woke up covered in dirt.
Why, why, am I cursed with remembering these things?
posted by Ruby @ 5:25:00 PM
13 Comments:
Bwahahaha, what classic drunken shenanigans, I applaud you!
Hehe. In an old Irish accent: That's God telling you you're an evil sinful woman.
I love that part where you fell between the wall and the bed. Happens to best of us.
Gee that bloke who wore the bra must have been rather pissed as well.
Oh god I can't stop laughing!
aaahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
dirt all over you!
aaahahhahahahahaha!
Chikabub: thanks, although I doubt the others at the party would be applauding me!
Engels: yes, but does taking off your stick-on bra and putting it on a man happen to the best of us?? Ugh, the shame!
Huggies: no, he would have done it sober. He has no shame.
Anonymous: Thanks Jules, just be glad you weren't there to see it - I think you would have ended the friendship!
Ruby, I read this post this morning as a fellow disgracefully hungover person - and it gave me such wonderful comfort that I think I might cry.
Thanks Ruby, you are a true humanitarian.
I'm beginning to think I should give this "being drunk" thing a try. At least then I'd have some funny stories to tell!
Cats like Catnip Puss, not alcomohol.
I wish I was there.
*drools*
That is hilarious - always a sign of a good night!!!
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Those silicone nude bras are also useful for simulated booty, for all you long-backs out there.
On drunken beddy-byes, I found the ten mattresses that covered our loungeroom floor back in the day, or 'sloth mats' as we called them, to be invaluable in such circumstances.
Sleeping there did however, leave one open to permanent marker attack.
Ben: It's a community service, ya know!
Puss: No Puss, your stories are funny enough already!
Dollop: exactly.
Hambo: you wouldn't have been drooling - it was an unattractive night all round.
Giggle: yeah, I just wish the hangover wasn't so bad!
Frankie: ooh I like the idea of sloth mats! I'm moving house soon, and I think I'll need to invest in a few more mattresses!
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