And all the King's Men: Part 3
Part one and Part two can be found here and here, oh sorry, I meant here.Righty-o, let's get on with it then.
11 - aged 21 - January 2003: A somewhat neurotic boring guy from work. We dated for three months, then I got over it. He lost it, bitched about it to my boss, and consequently, I got demoted. The boss was his brother-in-law, so big mistake on my part. Spent the next year re-building work relationships with the all-male staff. Fucking boy-loyalty.
12 - aged 21 - March 2003: My first man in uniform. Arrogant policeman, but the best sex I'd had up until that point. We dated for ten months, then realised we were only together for the shagging, so we broke up and maintained a 'casual' relationship until he went overseas last year.
13 - aged 22 - November 2003: A geek from high school. More of a casual arrangement than anything else, but we were fond of each other. Ended when he moved to Sydney.
14 - aged 22 - December 2003: One of the few times I've ever given my number to a complete stranger - while sober - and it paid off. He was a doorman at a hotel in town. Very cute but a bit immature. We saw each other for a few weeks before losing interest in each other.
15 AND 16 - aged 22 - December 2003: This is the 'sex story' I won't tell anyone. Except for a few close friends, and all of you in cyber-land, this is an unknown Ruby fact! The reason for my secrecy is because this tale is seedy and cheap, and not at all something I'm proud of*. I was at a bar in St Kilda with a uni mate. He'd bought along a friend who'd bought along his brother. They were Belgian. They had accents. They were buff. After a few drinks, I plucked up the courage to ask my friend if his Belgian mate was single. He was. And apparently, he'd been enquiring about me too. However, just as we started talking, I thought to myself 'gee, his brother is cute too.' Cue another conversation with my friend. Apparently the brother had been making his own enquiries about me also! So there I was, tipsy and single, with two gorgeous brothers who were BOTH interested in me. I conversed with both of them, yet after an hour I could not come to a decision - which one did I like more? One was aloof and mysterious, the other friendly and outgoing. An idea popped into my head: why can't I have both of them? Dumbest. Idea. Ever. I suggested this to my friend, but pretended I was joking, of course. He however, seeing a hint of seriousness in my face, had a chat to them while I was in the ladies and came up with 'an arrangement.' He reported back to me that they had both agreed to sleep with me, but not at the same time. When I met them back at the bar, it was awkward - we all knew what was going to happen, yet no one said a word about it. Eventually my friend left, and the two Belgian brothers and I left the pub and walked to the beach. We sat on the sand for a while and chatted, until the older brother suggested that he and I go for a 'swim.' We paddled out to about knee deep, then removed our clothes and tied them around our necks so they didn't get wet - it wasn't a sexy look. We shagged in the water, and promptly returned to his brother. Again, we sat and made small talk, until the younger brother suggested that I go for 'walk' with him. We wandered off into some shrubbery near a park (pure class) and shagged. The rest of the night is a bit of a blur as I was quite drunk. I did however, decide that I like the older brother best, and asked if I could visit him in Sydney (where he was travelling to the next day). He agreed, so I spent New Years with him (and his brother), during which time I realised it was in fact the little brother I fancied more. I didn't let on, as evidently I'd been a total tart already and wasn't prepared for a repeat performance. Incidently, the older brother and I lost contact shortly after, however about a year ago the little brother stayed with me for a night while he was visiting Melbourne. We shagged. Oops.
Next time: Nothing nearly as dirty, but read it anyway!
*yet if a man had this experience, he would brag about it and get all the more respect from his mates!
posted by Ruby @ 10:11:00 PM
24 Comments:
Phwwooarrr! that's all i can say about that. :P
Interesting if true.
I knew it was bloody easy for women. I just knew it. I'm 24 and you can easily count my number on two hands.
Steph: truly cringe-worthy I know. That is the only reason I'm phwoarring!
Engels: Interesting if true? If I was going to lie about something, it certainly wouldn't be about something that makes me look like such a tart. Why, exactly, do you think I'm lying? And no, it's not 'easy' for women - it's just that some of us have the looks and personality to attract the opposite sex. My apologies if that is not the case for you.
'Interesting if true' is an amusing line from Futurama. I wasn't suggesting at all you were lying. After writing it, I feared it may come across wrong.
Haha, I have no insecurities about my personality or looks Ruby, though I could be a little more confindent/arrogant. I know a few good-looking and friendly guys who find it difficult to pick up. It's just the rules of the game.
None of my comments were intended to offend. My apologies if you interpreted them as so.
In my defence, for what little it's worth, I didn't go out much during highschool due to strict parents and a lack of money. I studied physics, maths and engineering at uni and worked in a warehouse - not many girls there. In that time I had two 18-month relationships which both ended well.
Sorry, I don't watch Futurama. Apology accepted - but please understand my defensivess as I do my best to publish an honest blog.
I'm a science geek too. You don't need to be arrogant, but confidence helps ;)
I understood your defensiveness. A curious cathartic exercise.
I recently attended a maths conference in Victoria, and my old supervisors and I were AMAZED at the number of female PhD students at Melbourne Uni. Very unusual.
None of my more successful mates every brag about their exploits. It's the company one keeps.
I still strongly believe it is easier for women. Maybe harder to find the 'right' man. But definitely easier to pick up. I am willing to argue this.
Yeah, ok, it probably is easier for us girls to find someone to sleep with, but it is definitely harder for us to find a relationship-worthy bloke!
I'm at Melb Uni doing honours in Science, and there is a heap of girls doing PhDs. Last time I asked, there were more girls doing chemistry PhDs than boys. Very strange I agree, but in a good way! However, the academia across all the sciences I've encountered, is largely dominated by males. Times are a changing!
P.S. What kind of maths do you do?
Well, very lucky I'm planning to start my PhD in 3 weeks at Melb Uni.
I did my honours last year in applied maths - a fluid mechanics problem similar to this: http://engels-empire.blogspot.com/2005/12/studious-scholar-complex-numbers.html
However, fluid mechanics doesn't really float my boat hehe...oh I need sleep. I'm considering doing something with probability theory to model communication newtworks. I'm yet to decide basically...
http://engels-empire.blogspot.com/2005/12/studious-scholar-complex-numbers.html
Oh I give up, just go to my december archive and search for 'complex'. Hell, it doesn't even matter. That was last year.
Whoaaa ruby, thats some opening up, hope it felt good girl. You are a real woman. If I wasn't in a relationship these details, combined with our previous discussions, would be enough for me to get a little obsession going...
As for my past, my lady reads my blog, so I would be making my life living hell, if I were brave enough to post my rock & roll past!!!
Nothing but respect sister..
Jesus Christ, you're are abit of a fucking slut. like people want to hear all your sex stories trying to make yourself sound hot, obviously you aren't very good looking otherwise you would have a photo of yourself on here rather then feet... they're probably better looking then you anyway.
Please go kill yourself =]
Frankie J: aw, c'mon...post your past Frankie! Just tell the Mrs you're making it up to impress your blog friends.
Anonymous: Oh anonymous, where to begin? Let's make a list, shall we?
1. 'abit' is two words: a bit.
2. If people don't want to hear sex stories then they're more than welcome to go elsewhere.
3. How have I tried to make myself sound hot?
4. I haven't got a photo of my face because it would be unfair to 'reveal' myself when I blog about other people. I'm more than happy to send you one though, if you provide me your email address, and you can be the judge.
5. Who the fuck are you? It's gutless commenting under the anonymous tag.
6. Fuck off.
7. And finally, unless you intend to construct a coherent and appropriate argument using a 'real name' or link, I am just not interested in any further debate.
Now it's my turn to laugh: ha ha, good one anon.
I'm rather glad I'm not part of this one though ruby.
That better be sarcasm M!key.
Anon is either: 1 An ugly woman who is jealous.
or: 2 An ugly man who is jealous.
People who have sex don't usually give a fuck about others sex lives....
I think your feet are cute rubes, I think you honesty is cuter..
Oh no, I'm serious when I say I'm glad not to be part of this list. I did chuckle though...
Well it wasn't for lack of trying on your behalf, m!key.
I wouldn't doubt that you'd have a criticism to level either way in that regard.
Hindsight is nice.
The shoe's on the other foot now: see how funny it is to be criticised by someone who knows nothing about you?
Oh I see the irony, however I had nothing to do with the criticism you received here. I was just offended that you thought me being called a slut amusing when you know from experience that I'm not. You know, because I thought we were over the bitchiness, but obviously not.
Oh, just got back to this now. It was purely the irony that I was laughing at, that is all ruby.
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