Sunday, July 2

Yeah it's been a while....

A-CUP-GIRLY said...

hi there,"long time reader, first time poster"

Hi! Thanks for speaking up!

i just wanted to post because i like you and am really worried about your boobs.

Thanks! There really is no need to worry though, as I worry enough about my boobs all by myself.

i couldn't believe it when i read you were getting them 'done'. i understand you are not happy with having 'small boobs', but do you really want to move to new status of having 'fake boobs'?

Personally, I think I have plenty of other offerings (in every sense of the word) that I won't be known far and wide for my fake boobs alone. To those who know me I'll still be Ruby. To those who know of me, sure, I'll be the fake boob girl - and that doesn't worry me one bit. If such people believe that's all there is to me then I'm happy not having them around.

i just can't believe how many people are saying 'if it feels right, then do it' to you... because honestly i think it's a disfigurement.

Here is where I remind myself that I promised to be totally honest on this blog. Not only are my breasts sensationally small, but they have a genetic deformity. It's nothing a good bra and some padding can't hide, but see me naked and I guarantee you'll run the other way. If this surgery fucks up and leaves me scarred and disfigured, I'll be no worse off than I am now.

i do empathise with where you are coming from (ie, i’m a 25 year old uni student from Melbourne with small boobs) but i just can’t understand where you are going...

I understand you weren't aware of my condition when you worte that, but considering the above, you have no idea where I am coming from.

basically, fake boobs are fake. have you seen the documentary ‘the day my boobs went bust’? the complication issues are bad enough, but the thing about that doco that surprised me the most were the long-term problems. these things need constant updating! like every ten years or so it was recommended, otherwise they become too fragile. and the operation for doing this is really complicated and expensive.

I am an intelligent, well informed, and rational woman. I understand all the risks, the complications, and the long term maintenance.

but this is just physical issues.i suppose the worst thing about fake boobs is the kind of place they put you in society. right up there with Tara Reid and Krystal from Big Brother. of course those girls are dumb enough to see their boobs as a career move, but you can’t deny they change the way society (men!) see you. you do it for yourself (sure), but it doesn’t stop everyone else have a crack.

In all seriousness, I couldn't care less if people pigeon-hole me after the operation. I know for sure the people who know me well won't and that's all I'm worried about. As for having a crack, I'll be the first one to take the piss!

anyway, i know i’m out of line and you probably won’t publish this. but i hope you read it. i’ve read your stories about the plastic slip-in boobs and i find them endearing and funny. and they sound like a person who isn’t completely happy with her figure but at least can laugh and use what she sees are her flaws to define her. and they do! and it makes people like you! sincerely, A-CUP-GIRLY

Thanks A-cup girly! Your honesty is certainly appreciated! Keep it coming!

Wednesday, May 24

You shallow crunts

Last Thursday I shared with you all a very deep and personal moment I had with my mother.

I also mentioned I'm getting a boob job.

No one commented on the former.

Have some soul people!

Thursday, May 18

Ruby Booby

The more observant of you may have realised I've started another blog...the name explains it all....any thoughts people?

Dear Mum

Happy Mothers Day. I hope you like your present. I bought it years ago but never gave it to you because of the Peter thing. I suppose I hung on to it because I was so angry at you. Every birthday, Christmas, and Mothers Day I've thought about giving it to you but the anger and hurt stopped me.

I've been thinking a lot about our relationship lately and I've come to realise that you were only ever doing the best you knew how. Even though you hurt me so much I've decided to let the negativity go.

I'm so sorry I was so horrible to live with for all those years, but I couldn't find another way to express how hurt I was.

I've been so terribly scared that something will happen to one of us and I'll never get the opportunity to tell you how I really feel.

What I really want you to know is, you are the most important woman in my life and I love you tremendously.

Love Ruby xxxx

Friday, May 12

Bad Hair Year

Remember I told you I had my hair cut? Well, it looked great but last night I washed it and now I look like an eagle died on my head.

As is often the case at FSO, there's a lesson to be learnt here: don't ever say to a new hairdresser 'oh, I'm looking for a change, do whatever you want.'

Whilst it's true I didn't have a preference for any particular colour or style, there were several cuts I would have rather avoided. Silly me thought it 'went without saying' that....

I didn't want to look like something that's a mix Warrick Capper and a mushroom:

I didn't want to look like a cross between Milly from Australian Idol and an adverstiment for electrical safety:

And I certainly didn't want to amaze people with my uncanny resemblance to both a novelty 80s wig and Steve Irwin.

Not only did I think it not physically possible to combine both the box fringe and the femme-mullet, but I certainly didn't want to be the one who pioneered this feat.

Does anyone know any magic formula that makes hair grow fast?

Sunday, May 7

Um....remember me?

Ahoy there!

Rubes is back. PHEW! I know it's been hard, but fret not, I'm back for good this time.

The last few weeks have been a mix of hell, dread, anxiety, and procrastination. Especially procrastination. Which lead to the hell, dread, and anxiety.

I feel it's important to mention now, if anyone is ever thinking of doing an honours year:


I mean really, it's not as if you get to be called Dr or anything. My friends are already tiring of calling me The Honourable Ruby, and apparently it's 'wanky' to sign your name with (hons) following it. Pfft.

I must admit though, I only had myself to blame. As much as I'd like to pretend it was 9 months of intense intellectual development, I pretty much cruised my way through the first 8 months and 3 weeks.

Yes kids, I truly believed my 10,000 word thesis would 'write itself.' In a week. And make sense.

Hahahahahahaha. Oh, how foolish I was!

It's over now thankfully, and normal life has resumed. Here's a run-down of what I've been up to:

I moved in with a hot man. He's just a friend, but fuck me if it isn't the sweetest thing watching him walk around our house in his boxers.

I cut all my hair off and dyed it red red red.

I added another boy to The List.

I got dumped by another fireman. Although it was only after one date and a pash - that doesn't count does it?

I returned to full time work.

Oh lordy, what a boring list. Is that all I've done???




(ten minutes later)


(hmmm what a lovely cup of tea)



(I'm just popping off to have a bath, back in a bit)




Admittedly the last few days since I 'handed in' have been spent sleeping. Hopefully the coming months will be spent doing exciting things which I promise I'll post about here!


Rubes (hons)

Tuesday, April 18

Thesis due

As much as I'd like to think that I'm a time efficient multi tasker, I'm really fucking hopeless.

Back soon.

Tuesday, March 21

Best Comment Ever

Unbelievable. She's real. We've emailed. She's amazing too.

I am so thankful and happy.